When life hands you lemons...throw them at people

I still have the "flux" feeling, it must be said. I feel I have many projects on-the-go but don't want to make a huge amount of mess to start something when I may have to pack up and move everything in the near future.

Mind you, one cannot live life on a "what if" scenario basis. With that in mind, I've decided to continue applying for other jobs while I'm waiting to hear on the one at the Mac store. It'll make the rejection easier to deal with if I am rejected....again...and means I won't have to wait so long to get some cash coming in even if that does happen. There's some work involved though - I need to tailor my resume to the kind of work I'm looking for right now, and all the sites where I have my resume posted will have to be checked and probably amended. At least I'm in much better shape financially since the bail-out from my parents (thanks again folks) but, once again, my credit card balance is starting to mount so I will have to use more cash to pay it down else I'll end up paying hundreds of dollars in interest. It's not quite how I wanted to use that money - I was hoping to get the job, find a home, and then cash everything in that I have (including my tax returns) to help pay for moving costs et al. However, as people in group keep telling me, one cannot control everything that happens, only one's reaction to it. In this case the job is taking longer than I would hope so I need to act accordingly. As ever, it sucks, but such is my lot in life it would appear.

Mentally though things seem to be going quite well. The cash/job situation is the biggest negative influence on my moods right now, although if I'm honest I must admit that thinking of the invisible woman still gets me down from time-to-time. It seems like such a pity, such a waste. Indeed, I still remember an excited MSN conversation we had from months ago when I stated the words, "It'll be a travesty if we don't meet, because we seem so well-matched". Again though, this is another situation entirely beyond my power to influence or control so until she decides it's time to restart communicating then I'm S.O.O.L.

I just hope that she does decide to start communicating again.

But the trend is still good. My weekly CD and GAD scores are still coming in below the average, which means I'm on a downward/positive cycle. It's just that f**king job that I need.

Gotta go - Wednesday is shrinkage day and I need to swap the wheels out on my bike so I can ride downtown.