Double whammy

Well, on the upside I managed to get out of the house and get a ride in. Also, I've been able to grocery shop today for the first time in a few weeks because my parents bailed me out and - for the time being - I'm no longer on the brink of bankruptcy. I'm still too stunned to know what to say about that really. Thanks partially to this blog I was able to be upfront with them about my financial situation, and I'd hoped for enough cash to cover the rent for a month or two. When we got to the bank though, my folks cleared the whole balance - about $22,000 of it.

I'm grateful, obviously. I'm also fighting not to beat myself up about incurring a debt like that in the first place. After all, for a few months I couldn't face leaving the house or picking up the phone, let alone work. I'm also slightly emasculated, and partially relieved, although the news today that I didn't even get the job in a f**king coffee shop that I went for wasn't well-received. Neither was another SMS spat with the woman who - on paper at least - could be my perfect match. With her and the job front I'm fresh out of ideas, and pretty much out of willpower. So, I'm into my first martini of the day. I figured it was after five o'clock and justified it to myself that way, given that I've been up since around 6am.

I treated myself at Coffee Time en route to the grocery store, partially because I was hungry and partially because I just needed a moment to get myself together. I had to repeat my order three times to the woman behind the counter who viewed me as an interruption to the conversation she was having. If only I too had realised one has to exude an aura of utter fucking ignorance in order to work in food retail, maybe I'd have got the job. Once again, life decides to shit on me from great height.