It's a gorgeous sunny Sunday in The Beaches and I'm observing how the other half lives, from inside the goldfish bowl of the store. Kids are walking around eating ice cream with their gloves on and, when I'm not serving or answering the phone, I train my eyes on the street.
I still can't come down here without thinking of her. Half of me hopes we'll run into each other, and the other half winces at the thought of it...the awkwardness. The fact that I wouldn't get chance to think of what to say in advance. The possibility that she wouldn't be half as pleased to see me as I her. I still can't help but look though. I often find myself straining to see through car windscreens from the streetcar, checking the faces of every person on the sidewalk as best I can as it rattles and lolls onwards. But I never see her.
I've been feeling pretty broody lately. Customers seem to be going out of their way to bring cuter and cuter kids into the store and each time they do it just makes me sigh. But at least I'm aware of how I feel on the subject, which is a vast improvement to 12 months ago.
In the meantime life lurches on. I'm keeping hold of the job and having to resort to fewer 'emergency' taxis than before. It feels as if I'm coming out of a post-cigarette-smoking lull during which I've smoked much more weed than usual just in order to have something to smoke at all. I don't miss the cigarettes though.
I picked up the last two items of furniture I need yesterday. The sideboard I
really wanted was $1,900 but it was a little extravagant! In the end I managed to get both a chest of drawers for the bedroom and a sideboard for the dining room for $590. Finally I will be able to put EVERYTHING away, and will be able to get everything off the floor. I'll probaby donate the two TV screens to the school opposite. Hopefully they can use them.
That's all for now.
(Well, in relative terms anyway).
